


Anything-Can-Happen Thursday

by Ailelie



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Community: apocalyptothon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-19
Updated: 2010-11-19
Packaged: 2017-10-13 06:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/134255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailelie/pseuds/Ailelie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After aliens come to Earth, Penny is one of the survivors who helps form the Resistance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silent City

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wizefics (bewize)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewize/gifts).



_"The city has fallen silent. There is no warmth left in the sun."  
~Eowyn, Return of the King (film)_

The world ended on a Thursday.

 

At least, Penny thought it had been a Thursday. With all the insanity that had followed the end of the world as she knew it, it was difficult to remember exactly when it had begun. The Tuesday beforehand, though, was like crystal in her head. In the weeks and months after, Penny had often revisited that day in her memory, wishing she had given into temptation and smashed a coffee carafe over Howard's head. And everyone else's as well, just to be sure. Stupid scientists. Sure, they were brilliant at flashing lights off and on in foreign countries and building mini-robots, but their brilliance ended at one crucial point-- consequences. Why the hell had not one of them stopped to think for even _half_ a second before reprogramming the satellites and sending a message to the weird star Raj had found in the sky? Boys with their toys. If they weren't already dead, Penny was going to kill them.

 

She had been working that Tuesday, before the mess and the end. A friend's kid was sick, so Penny had offered to cover her shift as well, which meant a full day of Cheesecake Factory goodness. She was returning from her break when the boys walked in. The other waiters marked her return with brightened smiles and the hostess re-arranged the tables so that the boys sat within Penny's section. Penny cursed; she should have lingered longer in the bathroom. Then they would be someone else's problem. Then again, Sheldon was with them. He'd demand her, loudly and with lecturing, if necessary, until she relented and took over the table. She liked the boys; they were great. They were also the bane of her waitressing existence.

 

"Oh, good, Penny, you're working," Sheldon said once she approached their table. "The hostess--" he paused to give the poor girl by the door an evil look-- "tried to tell us that you were on break."

 

"I was," Penny said. "I just got back."

 

"Well, that was fortunate timing," Sheldon said.

 

Too fortunate, Penny thought, wondering now if the boys were why she'd been allowed to take her break earlier than usual. "So, what will you be having today?"

 

"I would like--" Sheldon began.

 

"The usual," Penny cut him off. She had written up and laminated a copy of Sheldon's order months ago. Every guy and girl in the kitchen now knew the Nutso Special. They kept it pinned up beside the Sally Surprise, an order which, like the famous one from the movie, involved a sandwich with everything, save the bread, on the side. "Leonard?"

 

Leonard looked up from the charts Raj was spreading over the table. "Uh, just a regular burger meal today. Plain."

 

"Raj?"

 

Raj froze and looked to Howard, his eyes wide and lips pleading. Howard rolled his eyes. "The same for us," he said.

 

"All right. Three plain burger meals and Sheldon's usual. Anything else?"

 

Howard, the only one paying her the slightest bit of attention now, shook his head. She was impressed. Whatever the guys were looking at had to be important. Even Howard was looking at them more than he was her cleavage. "I think we're goo--"

 

"Great holy Batman!" Sheldon gasped, grabbing one of the papers. "Is that what I think it is?"

 

Raj looked at her. Penny rolled her eyes and turned away. Three steps later, Raj began to talk rapidly, all the syllables running together. Penny retreated to the kitchen and turned in her order.

 

Leah, one of the managers on duty, glanced at the slip and pulled it away before one of the newer cooks could reach for it. "Jeff," she called to the most experienced person besides her in the kitchen. "We got a Nutso for you."

 

Penny winced when she heard a loud clang of metal. Jeff, a tall man with dark hair and an unfortunate nose, grumbled as he walked up to her and Leah.

 

"I do it right once," he said, "and I get stuck with it every Tuesday."

 

Penny huffed with understanding. "You should try being their waitress."

 

He shuddered. "No thanks." He took the order slip and, to Leah, added, "The chicken for table sixteen is ready to plate." He returned to the heart of the kitchen, yelling to the cooks and his underlings what he needed.

 

Leah jutted her chin toward the dining area. "I think your boys need more coffee," she said.

 

Penny filled a carafe and restocked the creamer in her pocket. "Trust me," she said. "Caffeine is the    
_last_   
thing those four need." She picked up a water pitcher with her other hand and walked back out to the table.

 

Raj did not notice her approaching and so continued talking. "Professor Lambert thinks it is a hoax or problem with the equipment, but if you look at this, labs in Russia and Japan have had similar results."

 

"So why haven't any of their scientists made a fuss over it?" Leonard asked.

 

"Because it is too incredible to imagine. This phenomenon does not follow any of the rules we've established for stars, comets, meteors, and so on. They think it    
_has_   
to be an anomaly, because any other option would mean--"

 

"Life," Leonard said, awestruck.

 

"Are you certain you've accounted for all alternatives?" Sheldon asked.

  
Raj shoved papers toward him. "Look for yourself. I have more research back at the lab. I think this is real." He sounded like a five year old at Christmas time.

 

"Do you think alien chicks will be hot? Or kinky? I bet they are. Different cultural standards and all that," Howard said, dreamily.

 

Penny suppressed the urge to knock him over the head with the coffee, and, instead, asked, "Refills?"

 

As she refilled their drinks, her curiosity took the lead. "What are those papers?" she asked.

 

The boys looked at one another. Then Leonard answered, "Raj has found an odd light in space."

 

"A weird star, go on."

 

"Well, not really a star--"

 

"We think they might be aliens," Raj said, the words bursting out of him. Penny nearly dropped the coffee mug she was filling. Raj looked even more surprised.

 

"Aliens?" Penny asked.

 

"That is a possibility," Sheldon said, "but one that I still believe to be remote. As we have not dealt with aliens before, we do not know exactly how to verify the idea."

 

Penny shrugged and picked up the water pitcher once more. "Why don't you just ask them?"

 

"We can't just a--" Sheldon stopped, his eyes glazing with thought. Then he blinked.    
  
"Wolowitz, does your lab still have access to the new government satellite?"   


 

"Of course. Though only officially until the end of the month, why?"

 

Sheldon started to grin maniacally and Penny backed away slowly. The boys could handle this one.

 

Or so she had thought. Their circumstances now spoke otherwise.

 

A rap on Penny's door rocked her back to the present. The rhythm was special, three knocks three times. "Speak friend and enter," she said, softly.

 

"Melon," came the equally soft reply. Penny reached up, unlocked the door, and eased it open. Behind Jeff a couple people huddled. "More refugees," he said. "Can you take them?"

 

Penny bit her lip, then nodded. Jeff smiled in relief. "Thanks," he said. "Keep them safe."

 

"Safe as hobbits," Penny promised. "Would you like to come in for a rest?" she asked.

 

Jeff shook his head. "Miss Gandalf wants me to make a run to the Woods."

 

"She can't," Penny said, weakly.

 

Jeff shrugged. "You know how it is. Do something right once and you get stuck with it every time. Until next time, my Eowyn." He kissed her gently, one hand pressed warm against her back, the other on her cheek. Penny nipped at his lips and he chuckled. "Take care," he said and then ducked back down the alley. Penny shut the door and locked it, her heart pounding. She forced herself to smile before turning to face her latest batch of escapees and scroungers.

 

"Well," she said, "let's get you settled."

 

The Lord of the Rings references had started as a joke almost the instant the aliens had revealed themselves. From the points of the ears and sheen of their hair down to their slender hips and legs, they looked exactly like the elves from Peter Jackson's trilogy. They looked stern, but peaceful. Beautiful. Howard had been in raptures after the broadcast that, in true thriller movie fashion, had dominated all the airwaves.

 

The Elves were not interested in political power, Earthly resources, or anything of that ilk. They only wanted to talk science. Due to wars and strife on their own planets, Penny learned privately from the guys, the Elves could do a lot more than they understood. Their technology was more inherited than created; and so, they wished to talk with the scientists of Earth and pool their mental resources.

 

Being the ones to initiate contact, the guys were the first ones to be brought up into the large airships that hovered over California and the Pacific ocean. At first the visits had only been during the day, like work. From the four, Penny learned a lot about the Elves. They took their science seriously and Sheldon was often at odds with them. He was the first to disappear. Leonard had looked away shiftily when she'd demanded answers and promised that Sheldon was safe. He'd just gotten into an argument over strings vs. belkirs, whatever those were, and well-- he'd shrugged. Howard and Raj said nothing, but their wide eyes and the way they refused to discuss anything alien after that made Penny think the worst.

 

Later, after the Elves stopped pretending they wanted to share their technology and exist peacefully, Penny saw what happened when an Elf got mad. A new waitress took a cup of coffee to the Elf's table by mistake and he snapped. His hair lengthened into whips, stiffened into clubs, and sharpened into needles. He attacked, shredding the girl's skin. Blood pooled on the floor and spurted across the table top. Frozen and watching, Penny imagined Sheldon at the receiving end of one particularly wicked looking hooked-club with spines up and down the shaft.

 

They closed the restaurant. A nursing student tried to help the new girl, but it was no good. She'd lost too much blood. Standing by her corpse, Penny and the others on duty that day formed the Resistance.

 

The Lord of the Rings references had begun as a joke, but they became their code. The Woods where Leah, one of three strategists in charge of their offensive, was sending Jeff was back in Pasadena, near the university where everything had begun. It was an Elf city now and one of the most dangerous places in the United States. Jeff had managed the run thrice before, each time barely escaping capture. The second time he'd come back with hairs all through his back. Penny knew how hard that recovery had been for him, because she had helped him through it. Now Leah was sending him back again.

 

Penny settled her refugees into her back room. "All right," she said, in a soft voice. "Which of you is the genius?"

 

The three looked at one another. The youngest of the three, a tall girl with small glasses and braids pulled up into a ponytail raised her hand. "Me, probably. I'm good at physics."

 

"She's been taking university courses by correspondence," the red-haired woman who looked about Penny's age said.

 

"And you are?" Penny asked.

 

"Cecily, her former music teacher."

 

"Why didn't you go to the Elves when they asked for people?" Penny asked.

 

"I've been helping out Ms. Tate after school."

 

"I am trying to create a blended middle and high school band. Regina is one of my high school students," Cecily explained.

 

"And who are you?" Penny asked, turning to the third figure, a man with thinning hair.

 

"Guy Warner, mechanic and general Jack-of-all," he said. "They've had me fixing up some Elf-tech. I know some of the workings now."

 

"How did you get away?" Penny asked, awed. So far no one she knew of had been able to figure out how the airships worked. The mechanics and engineers brought into the fold were tightly guarded or dead.

 

"I was in the first group," the guy explained. "I ran before they clamped down and have been running since. I bumped into your man by coincidence and we helped each other out. He said you'd know where to go next."

 

"Yes," Penny said. "That is what I do. I know of some projects you could help with. Cecily, perhaps you and Regina could relocate to one of our communities with children. We need more ways to keep kids busy."

 

Regina wrinkled her nose and raised her brows. "I understand Belkirs," she said. "Do you really want to send me off to play with kids?"

 

"What?" Penny asked. "How?"

 

"Online," Regina answered.

 

Again, Penny asked, "How?" While not even the Elves could control the net, they could make access next to impossible where they had control and then flood the web with false information for everywhere else.

 

"Music camp at USC."

 

Cecily's eyes widened and turned to Regina. " _You_ were the one who kept breaking into the office?" Regina shrugged one shoulder.

 

"Oh," Penny said. She tried to think of a nice way to explain to the girl that everything she knew was likely bunk.

 

"Not from of their sites," the girl said. The condescension in her voice reminded Penny strongly of Sheldon. "Not even an idiot would fall for their lies. I downloaded the Pennyblossom files."

 

Penny froze. "The what?"

 

"The Pennyblossom files," Regina repeated. "They're hidden on this old site for flower hairpins."

 

Penny didn't even realize she was crying until Cecily asked her what was wrong. Penny shook her head and smiled. "I'm fine," she said. They weren't all dead, she thought, and something broke inside her. She wanted to laugh or cry or something; she didn't know how to express the emotions flooding her. So, instead, she opened a cupboard, removed the shelves, and pushed out the backside.

 

"Go through there," she said. "There's blankets and food. I'll figure out your destination." They went. Penny shut the back, arranged the shelves, and shut the door. Her house was the safest in their constellation of safe places. The Elves left her alone, only ever bothering her for coffee and cakes that she sold in the front shop, Cafe Norah or, for those who knew her true colors, Rohan. The little cafe, outside Pasadena, but still within the shadow of the aerial city for most of the day, was popular among the Elves who liked to pretend that they weren't taking over the Earth and people who needed a safe place to rest. Penny had two secret rooms, plus a public room for nightly rent. In her own bedroom, she had a laptop that could connect to the internet even in the middle of a desert. One of their scientists had jury-rigged it for her and it was now Penny's most valuable tool. Leah had another one. Some Rangers had smuggled others into libraries and computer cafes for their communal use.

 

Penny leaned back against her headboard and logged onto Age of Conan. While the game world was less populated than it used to be, thousands of people still played each day. As far as Penny knew, the Elves did not yet see fit to monitor the game as they did most message boards and social networking sites. Penny toggled the chatter off and logged into her guild's noticeboard. Amidst messages from regular players lurked coded updates from most of the hobbit holes along the west coast. Penny wrote down the messages and loaded some macros for her character to mask her inattention. She typed each code into the decoder on her computer and updated her files with the new information. Finished, she turned her attention back to her character. She played the game for a half hour, before claiming work and logging off.

 

Penny looked at the new information on her screen. Other people could be geniuses and master strategists, Penny just looked for what made sense. She also knew how to act, which was why she ran the cafe. The Elves thought she was on their side. A few had even asked her back to their beds, a prospect that disgusted Penny. She'd sex up Kripke, before she touched any Elf-freak. She spied on conversations, passed information, calmed refugees, and figured out where people were needed. She was one of the few to know what was happening all throughout the Resistance.

 

Now she only needed to figure out where to send the mastermind, mechanic, and music teacher. Everyone claimed to need help, but a lot of it was BS. People were scared and wanted security blankets. A report from Moria, a large community situated in a series of hidden underground bunkers, grabbed Penny's attention. A group of runners had stolen a small transport and delivered it to Moria. Penny hoped they'd also feinted deliveries elsewhere, or else Moria wouldn't last long. If it did prove safe, they would need people who could understand Elf tech and science. If it proved unsafe, she could divert them to the airport and Texas. Missy had a group down there. Texas was safer than California and would be a good place for the mechanic to share his knowledge and for the kid to learn more from the mysterious insider.

 

Satisfied, Penny shut down her computer and curled up in her bed. In the morning, she would contact a Ranger and get her refugees ready for their journey south.

 

The morning, however, had other plans.


	2. Cold

_"It grows so cold."  
~Eowyn, RotK (film)_

Penny awoke from her dreams of lying on a shadow-free beach with Jeff stretched out beside her, to the noise of her alarm clock. Yawning, Penny reached for her lap top. While she waited for it to boot up, she reached up and stretched. Outside, a street busker was tuning his guitar and getting ready for the morning crowds that would line up for transport to the Woods. Many would stay grounded there for the week, going up each morning and back down each night, until the weekend when they'd return to their families. Some, Penny knew, would even stay in her old apartment building. She wondered sometimes if her furniture had been left as it was, and what people might think.

 

Penny logged into the game forums and posted, asking for people to join her on a quest to the southern mines. She only needed three more people, she wrote, including a magic-user and a dwarf with mine knowledge. The southern mines were a newbie area and provided little in way of reward or experience. She'd be surprised if anyone other than a Ranger responded.

 

Penny checked the boards for new messages. Leah had left an apology for her while still pointing out that Jeff was the best they had. Unlike some others, Jeff didn't take dumb chances. He knew when to hide and when to act. Penny knew he had a good bluff, she'd coached him herself. Even so, getting in or out of the Woods required transport, which meant Elves. His nose, large, beaked, and crooked, meant he was far more recognizable than anyone in his position ought to be. Penny deleted Leah's message, jotted down a new one from the Shire, their largest community in California, and turned her computer off.

 

When she went to open her shop later that morning, after breakfast and checking on her refugees, Penny froze in the doorway between the kitchen and dining area. She stared out the large, glass window and door, uncertain which way she should run or what she should do.

 

For, standing outside and watching her was Leonard, flanked by two loose-haired Elves. Penny made herself smile through her panic, and crossed the room to unlock the front door.

 

"Hello, Penny," Leonard said, almost sheepishly. He squinted up at her through his glasses and offered a lop-sided smile. "Long time no see."

 

Penny cut through the awkwardness with a hug. "You're here," she said.

 

"Yeah." He patted her back. "I've been looking for you," he said. "You moved. I thought--"

 

"I had to," she replied, lining up excuses if he pressed her.

 

"Mind if I come in?" he asked. "I've heard good things about your coffee."

 

"Please," Penny said. She stepped back and directed Leonard to a booth, but he shook his head and chose a table for four. Leonard sat down in the seat furthest from her. He tapped his fingers lightly against the laminated photographs. One. Two. Three. Four. She noticed that his fingers moved in the shape of a square. If the Elves weren't there, she could almost pretend she was back at the Cheesecake Factory and Leonard had arrived early.

 

"Would you like some water while you look over the menu?" Penny asked. Any moment now, Raj would arrive with Howard and Sheldon in tow. Raj would quietly sit across from Leonard. One. Two. Three. Four.

 

"What do you recommend, Penny?" Leonard asked. His fingers were still tapping, but this time he was skipping beats. One. Wait. Wait. Four. He glanced at Penny, then down to his fingers. Penny swallowed, hoping that the taps were meaningless or, at the very least, wrong.

 

"We have a great strawberry pie. Vegan," she added, remembering Leonard's lactose intolerance.

 

"I'll take a slice of that."

 

Penny smiled at the Elves. "And for you fine gentlemen?"

 

"Decaf black coffee," one said.

 

"The same," said the other.

 

Penny nodded, unsurprised. Elves always ordered decaf or orange juice to drink.

 

"Do you need something to drink, Leonard?" Penny asked.

 

"Just water," Leonard said.

 

Penny smiled and retreated to her kitchen. Her heart felt like it was going to claw out of her chest. Leonard was alive. And Raj. But Howard and Sheldon-- she thought of the gaps in Leonard's tapping, and prayed to the god she didn't believe that he hadn't been indicating who was dead and who was alive.

 

The back door opened and David, one of her employees walked in. He removed his ear buds; she could hear the pound of drums from across the small room. "Morning," he said.

 

"Good morning. We have guests."

 

David pulled on an apron and moved to the sink to wash his hands. "Oh? Who?"

 

"Two Elves and an old friend."

 

David turned off the water and dried his hands. "What kind of friend?" he asked.

 

"One of the Four," Penny said.

 

David's jaw tightened. The guys were not popular with anyone in the Resistance. "Why is he here?"

 

"I don't know. Take them coffee. Two decafs and a water. Be nice."

 

"Why don't you--"

 

Penny held up her hands. "I can't stop them shaking," she said. "I thought he was dead. I thought they were all dead."

 

"Sorry," David said. He took the half full coffee pot from the maker and quickly replaced it with a fresh one. A couple drops sizzled on the burner. Penny gave him a tray to put the mugs, glass, and carafes on.

 

Penny breathed deep and regained control. When David returned to the kitchen, her hands were still.

 

"The guy out there," he said, "wants to know if you remember when you gave Sheldon alcohol."

 

The memory rose without prompting. "Yeah, I snuck it into his glass, because he was being a jerk and wouldn't order-- oh." Penny stopped, her gaze on the coffee makers.

 

She took the top pot, filled with regular coffee, and carefully poured it into the decaf pot below.

 

"What are you doing?" David asked.

 

"Experimenting."

 

When David took out the slice of cold, strawberry pie for Leonard, Penny had him take the mixed pot of coffee as well. The bell over the door chimed. Penny smiled and walked out to the dining room. David was filling the mugs. Elves drank fast and often; Penny hoped both mugs had been empty or nearly so.

 

She turned her attention to her latest customer, and her smile became real. Halbarad was one of the best. Penny knew little concerning his life before the possibly-Thursday that had changed everything, not even his true name. He was a good guy, though, and she was glad he had responded to her request so quickly. She guided the man to a booth far from the Elves. "Good to see you, Hal."

 

"Lovely as ever, Wyn. I heard you had some merchandise you'd like to move?"

 

"You move fast," Penny said.

 

"Lucky timing."

 

"I suppose so. Would you like to take a look later?" She emphasized the last word.

 

"Well, I could eat. Coffee and toast?"

 

"Coming right out," Penny said. David was prepping for lunch in the kitchen. "Did Leonard say anything else?" Penny dropped two slices of bread into a toaster.

 

"No, but he looked worried when that customer walked in."

 

"I wish I knew what he was planning." She glanced out the small window in the kitchen door and gasped when one of the Elves slumped over in his seat. The other followed suit shortly after, his head slamming forward onto the table.

 

Penny ran out into the dining area, flipped the sign to closed, and tugged down the blinds. Then she turned to Leonard. "What the  _hell_ was that?"

 

Leonard glanced worriedly at Hal, but Penny cleared her throat and glared at him. "Caffeine makes them fall asleep," he said, apologetically.

 

"You just put me into danger," Penny said, anger lashing through her like a whip, even as she made a mental note to pass the information along.

 

"Not you. Besides, they won't tell," Leonard said. "That would mean they'd have to admit coming here. People might think they wanted to braid their hair."

 

"What?" Penny asked.

 

"It's a Kirran thing," Leonard said, shrugging. "There are factions and that's actually not why I'm here."

 

"Why are you here?" Penny asked. "After over a two years of letting me think you all were dead, why are you here now?"

 

"I need to find someone," Leonard said. "I was told Eowyn could help and that she spends a lot of time here. I need to speak with Eowyn, Penny. It is a matter of life and death."

 

"A lot of things are these days," Penny said. "How do you know about Eowyn? And, who do you need to find?"

 

"Penny, this is  _important_ . I need to find out where Eowyn is before these two wake up."

 

Penny glanced at the slumbering Elves. "How long will they be out?" she asked.

 

"Ten or twenty minutes. We never really measured it."

 

Penny rolled her eyes. "David," she called back to the kitchen. "Bring me the med kit. I need stims and one of our egg timers"

 

Leonard looked confused. "Why would you need stims at a cafe?"

 

Hal snickered and stood up. "Hey, you mind if I take a look at the stuff now?" he asked.

 

"Go ahead," Penny said, as David brought the kit out to her. "Behind the cupboard."

 

"Posh." He walked back through the kitchen door. Penny prepped a needle, remembering the rudimentary education she'd gotten when she'd spent some time in the Shire with one of their doctors. She carefully inserted the needle into the Elf's vein and pushed out a half dose. Not wasting proper precautions on an Elf, she used the rest of the liquid on the other. Then she pressed the stopwatch button on the egg timer.

 

"Come on," she said. "Let's talk in the kitchen. I won't tell you a thing until you explain."

 

Leonard sighed, defeated, and followed her into the kitchen. Penny found a couple stools for them to sit on and she poured him a glass of water. "David, watch the Elves. Leonard, explain. Now."

 

"Fine. I guess it started back before they took us up into the City full time. You see, there are two kinds of Kirrans, well two main kinds."

 

"The point, Leonard."

 

"Right." Leonard took a drink of his water and started to talk.

 

 _"Can you believe it? We just made history!" Raj crowed. "We will never pay for drinks again."_

 

 _Howard continued to stare at the equipment, his mouth loose and eyes wide. "We-- They--"_

 

 _"I admit," Sheldon said, slowly. "I am rather startled that this worked. I wonder what will happen next."_

 

 _"What happens next! What happens next?" Howard woke from his stupor. "We just alerted the galactic community that little Earth here is ripe for the plucking. Next they'll invade and we'll--"_

 

 _"Relax, Howard. You saw their message. They want to share knowledge. They're friendly."_

 

 _Howard locked his gaze on Leonard. "Right, because the larger, stronger, and better equipped force_ never  _tries to oppress the weaker."_

 

 _"You're over-reacting."_

 

 _"Be that as it may," Sheldon cut in. "We still require a plan of action. Gentlemen, we have done what no man has ever managed before. First contact. We shall need to establish a sound precedent."_

 

 _"He's right," Raj said after a lull._

 

 _"Of course, I am."_

 

"The Braiders were in control, then," Leonard explained. "They just want to understand all the tech they've inherited from a previous civilization, and they don't care much how they go about doing so. They're the ones who set up the treaties. Treaties, which, thanks to our little phone call, we were included in."

 

 _"Uh, guys?" Raj said, as he sat down at their usual table, even if it wasn't their usual day. Sheldon was fussing, but he had agreed that alien invasion did create severe enough circumstances to allow a break in their routine. The restaurant, like most of Pasadena, was directly beneath the shadow of the aerial city, and was dark, even with the lights overhead. "Remember how I said that no one else had noticed the bright, shiny object in the sky?"_

 

 _"Yeah, why?"_

 

 _"Turns out people were noticing. Government people."_

 

 _"Uh oh, I don't like where this is going."_

 

 _"They want to talk to us."_

 

 _"You told them about us?!" Sheldon's voice cracked._

 

 _"I had to! They threatened to revoke my green card if I didn't."_

 

 _"We'll figure something out," Leonard said. "Maybe they won't really be angry."_

 

 _Sheldon snorted._

 

"The government was angry, of course, but the Kirran made it better by offering out some weapons and medicines. I never learned the full details. Anyway, that was when everything began to calm down. The Kirran were even talking about dividing their city into smaller ships so that sunny Southern California might be sunny again. But then, everything changed. The loose-haired faction took over. They prefer war over diplomacy. Knowledge shared is knowledge that can be used against them. That sort of thing. That's when Sheldon disappeared."

 

"I thought you said he got into an argument."

 

"He did. There was just more going on. Look, Penny, we wanted to tell you more about what was going on, but doing so would put you in danger." He offered her a half-smile. "I couldn't risk that."

 

Torn between gratitude for his caring and fury for his presumptuousness, Penny said nothing. Leonard sighed. "Well, after that, things got bad."

 

Penny raised her brows.  _Got_ bad? Then she realized, the guys had never seen the riots and protests when the Elves had come. They'd been too busy with the government and Elves and that whole mess. Leonard hadn't lived through the false peace when everyone was walking on a razor's edge, quiet, frozen, and waiting for one wrong cut. He hadn't been working when an Elf, furious over some slight, had attacked a new waitress with his hair, slicing her skin to shreds.

 

Once again, he knew nothing about the real world; and, she knew far too much. She sighed. This history lesson was wasting time. "Why do you want Eowyn?" she asked. "And how did you know to look for her here?"

 

"About six or so months ago, a man snuck into our labs. He told us about her."

 

 _The morning bells rang cheerily, an odd counterpoint to the heavy lead in Leonard's stomach. He walked down to his lab with Howard and a man from MIT that had been friendly the night before, though Leonard couldn't remember anything else about him. He seemed familiar though. Howard made small talk, but Leonard wasn't in the mood. Penny was gone. He'd been given her address the night before by someone who was clearly not her. First Sheldon. Now Penny. When they reached the lab, Leonard went immediately to his computer. The MIT professor, though, sprang suddenly into action, as if he had been switched on. The door locked, the cameras disabled, he turned back to them. Howard saw it first._

 

 _"You're from the Cheesecake Factory," he said. Leonard looked and then wondered how he'd not noticed sooner._

 

 _"You're the Nutso's friends."_

 

 _"What are you doing here?" Howard asked._

 

 _"Stealing that piece of shiny you're working on," the man said. He inclined his head toward the table where a disemboweled communicator laid. The device was what had allowed the Kirran to learn English so quickly. It made the processing of language easier, allowing a trained person to learn any language swiftly. Though the others were being used to slowly learn the rest of the world's languages, they'd been given one for understanding. "And kidnapping one Professor Ramona Phillips." He named one of their top linguists._

 

 _"Does Dr. Phillips_ know _you're going to kidnap her?" Leonard asked._

 

 _The man grinned. He was assembling a small box from pieces out of all of his pockets. "She requested our services herself. Something about stupid rules." The Kirrans guarded their mother tongue jealously, striking at anyone who tried to learn it._

 

 _"And is this a hobby for you?" Howard asked._

 

 _He shook his head. "No, but it needs doing." He put the communicator into the box and hid it all within a deep pocket in his jacket. "They're not on our side."_

 

 _"No, they aren't."_

 

 _The man looked at Leonard thoughtfully. "Tell you what," he said. "If you ever need kidnapping yourself, or if you want to find someone who's gone, talk to Eowyn. She likes to drink coffee in Rohan. She knows what's going on. Plus, she has safe places for hiding in if you need it."_

 

 _"Eowyn, like from Lord of the Rings?"_

 

 _The man checked out the door, his fingers rapidly pushing buttons and turning the locks and cameras back on. "Death to the Elves," he said, and was gone._

 

Penny smiled. "He barely made it out that time," she said. "He was covered in hairs afterward, some of them tipped with something nasty."

 

"And Dr. Phillips?" Leonard asked. He looked confused.

 

"Safe," Penny said. In Moria, with her communicator and the rest of their tech.

 

"Your Strider always manages to get by," Hal said from the doorway. Leonard twisted to look at him.

 

"He does indeed," Penny agreed. "So, can you do it?"

 

Hal glanced into the room behind him. "Shouldn't be a problem. Mines first?"

 

"Yeah. And if you just happen to brush past the Woods on your way back up..."

 

"I'll bring you any news I get. Keep safe, Wyn."

 

"You, too. Take the basement exit."

 

Hal nodded and then ducked back into the other room. Leonard looked between her and the empty doorway. "Wyn?" he repeated. He squeezed his eyes shut. "No, you're not Eowyn."

 

"And why not?" Penny asked.

 

Leonard sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I guess it doesn't matter." He pulled a tiny usb drive from a pocket hidden in his collar. "One of our hackers got this off Kirran computers. We think it might have something to do with their new plans. Their next step once they solidify their stronghold in the US. There is only one problem."

 

"What's that?" Penny took the drive from him. She'd not seen one so tiny before.

 

"We can't read it. No one the City knows more than a few words and phrases."

 

"I know someone." Penny slipped the drive into the seam of her bra until she could secret it upstairs. "Thanks," she said. She stood up and squeezed Leonard tightly in a hug. "I missed you."

 

Leonard's arms closed around her like a vise. "Be careful," he said. "I didn't know--"

 

Penny pulled away. She thought she understood. "Me, too," she said. Then, impulsively, she kissed his cheek.

 

Leonard looked pained. "Penny--" he started to say, but then David poked his head into the kitchen.

 

"They're starting to wake up."

 

Penny checked her timer. "Forty minutes. Not bad. Well, back to work." She returned to the dining area. Leonard followed close behind.

 

For the rest of the day, she could feel the small drive pressing against her breast. The possibilities excited her. For once, maybe, they'd really be a step ahead. Maybe they could find a way to make everything stop.

 

Everything. The closed lines of communication, lack of telephone service, the strict media message, the All's Well show for the rest of the world, the kidnapping of anyone with scientific aptitude who was stupid enough to display it, the strange disappearances of anyone who spoke out publicly-- the word was inadequate.

 

She just hoped the information was as good as Leonard insinuated. Too long had they been just stealing crumbs while the dinner continued undisturbed. The drive pierced her with promise, and, for the rest of the day, she smiled brighter than the ever-blocked sun.

 

That evening, after checking the guild board and taking down her quest post, Penny slid the jump drive into her computer. The little bubble popped up in the corner of her screen informing her that the drive would really work better in a faster slot. As Penny moved to click it close, she noticed her trash can melting down her screen. In fact, all of her desktop folders were melting like ice cream cones. Penny cursed and ripped the jump drive out of her computer, but the damage was done. She watched with horror as all the colors spread and blended together until, eventually, everything was black. She turned the computer off and on again, but nothing changed.

 

She'd lost everything.

 

In the moments that followed Penny prided herself on her calm. She could recover from this. She _would_ recover from this. Leaning back against her headboard, Penny pressed her palms to her forehead and tried to think. What did she need to do first?

 

She needed to fix her computer. She needed to tell everyone what happened. She needed to track down and kill Leonard in the most painful way possible.

 

Leah. Leah had the other magically always connected computer and she'd want to know about the caffeine trick and the jump drive as soon as possible. Plus, the computer geek who had tricked out Penny's laptop always stayed close by her. Through Leah, Penny could be connected again. God, she'd only been without access for less than twenty minutes and she was already feeling withdrawal pains.

 

Penny collected the traitorous jump drive from where it had fallen onto the floor and placed it atop her computer on her nightstand. First, she would sleep. Then, she would call David in early and give him control of the cafe while she was gone. Then, she would go to Leah.

 

Her plan set, Penny turned off her light and lay down, but, with all her anger, adrenaline, and hurt, it was a long while before she slept.

 

When she finally awoke, Penny reached for her computer, only to remember the previous night. She glared at the drive, and then, got out of bed.

 

After dressing, Penny called David. That is, she called the central dispatch for her area, gave them David's phone code, and waited to be connected. She really, really missed the days when she could just punch a phone number in and have it all work out.

 

David answered on the third ring. "Hello?"

 

"Good morning, David. I need you to come in as soon as possible."

 

He groaned. "Twenty minutes."

 

"See you then," Penny said. She dropped the phone back into its cradle and began to pack. She didn't know how long she might end up staying with Leah, so it was best to be prepared. Penny paused over a short, blue dress. She trailed her fingers down the seam, feeling the soft fabric and remembering fun, dates, getting all dressed up just because. She tried to imagine her and Jeff out for dinner, her in this blue dress, and him with eyes only for her, but she couldn't. They didn't have time. She had to keep track of information, usher escapees and runaways from one place to the next; he had to be a Ranger, _the_ Ranger, the only one who could break into central ship in the Woods and return alive and successful. Sighing, Penny shoved the hanger aside and pulled down the plain t-shirt behind it.

 

David arrived five minutes early. As soon as he saw the backpack on her shoulders and the key ring in her hands, he began to protest.

 

"What's going on?" he asked.

 

Penny held up the keys. "This one," she said, "opens the front door. This one does the back one. Keep the back door locked at all times. This one--"

 

He batted her hand aside. "I know what the keys are for. Why are you giving them to me?"

 

She ignored him. "This one is for the upstairs room, and these are for the back ones."

 

"What is going on?!" David demanded.

 

"I have to go," Penny said. "It might be best if you don't know where or why." She pressed the keys into his palm and folded his fingers over them.

 

"I don't know how to run this cafe, Eowyn." His use of her codename told Penny that he wasn't worried about coffee and inventory.

 

"You'll be fine," she said. "If anyone comes, send them to the Shire or, if the have kids, Texas. We can always move people around again later. Hal promised he'd stop back by after his trip to Moria. Tell him I've gone and that you need help. He'll stick around and make sure you have Rangers when you need them."

 

David looked down at the keys. "All right, but you better come back."

 

Penny smiled. "Of course I will." She ruffled his hair and he rolled his eyes.

 

Then they swapped cars and she left.


	3. Just the Damp

_"It's just the damp of the first spring rain."  
~Faramir, RotK (film)_

Reaching Leah was easy. After they'd decided to leave the Cheesecake Factory and start their Resistance, they had first gone to Leah's family home up in Stonehurst. Apparently her parents had money, though Leah had never wanted any of it. Their home was a large, multi-storied affair near a sprawling golf course. After Penny left to start up Cafe Norah within the shadow of the ships, Leah had remained behind.

 

Penny drove up the 210, exiting in Stonehurst. Leah's home was still unshadowed, but the Woods grew everyday, soon Leah would be swallowed up just like Pasadena, Los Angeles, and all the suburbs and cities in between. Where did they even get all the new ships, she wondered. If only they could stop the expansion, then maybe they might have a chance to do some real damage or rally support for their cause.

 

Pipe dreams.

 

"Melon," Penny replied to the muffled request through the door.

 

A woman with spiked blond hair opened the door. "Name?" she asked, seemingly bored.

 

"Eowyn," Penny said, taking some joy in the micro-fraction of shock that twitched the girl's face. "Get Miss Gandalf. We have a problem."

 

"You're serious?"

 

"The city has fallen silent," Penny quoted. "There is no warmth left in the sun." Everyone had a few unique quotes to prove their identity or intent when needed. It wasn't a perfect system, but they'd not gotten around yet to making a better one.

 

"It's only the damp," the girl said, stepping back and allowing Penny to walk inside.

 

Penny shook her head. "Not this time. Where is Gandalf?"

 

"Upstairs. Plotting. She got some bad news earlier this morning, I think." The girl shrugged.

 

"Thanks."

 

Noon-day sun poured in through all the large windows, teasing streams of gold from the long wooden banisters lining the stairs. Penny paused in a pool of light, soaking up the warm rays. She was standing there, eyes closed, when she heard her name.

 

"Penny? What are you doing here?"

 

Penny turned around and looked up the last half-flight of stairs. Leah, in sweats and messy hair, stood at the top. Penny held up her computer. "We have a problem," she said.

 

"What else is new? Come on, you can tell me over lunch."

 

As Penny explained about the coffee, Leonard, and jump drive over their peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches, which were all Leah had to offer for food, she got the sense that Leah wasn't really paying all that much attention.

 

"So what are we going to do?" Penny asked. "My computer is trashed. Leah?"

 

Leah laid out her crusts into a square, a frame for a sandwich of air, and then looked up at Penny. "Jeff didn't make contact this morning," she said in a monotone.

 

Penny gripped the edge of the table, suddenly unable to breathe. "Is he--" she couldn't even say the word.

 

Leah shook her head. "I don't know. It could be nothing, but he has never missed making contact before, especially on dangerous missions like this one."

 

"Why?" Penny asked. "Why did you have to send him?"

 

Leah looked away. "A rescue. Some genius who knows all about Belkirs."

 

"The Pennyblossom files," Penny said.

 

"Yeah."

 

It was Sheldon then, Penny thought. It had to be. Sheldon and Jeff. Penny put down the rest of her sandwich and stood up. She knew she should stay in her seat, finish her lunch, and then figure out more about the virus that destroyed her computer. She should contact Dr. Phillips and let her know she suspected that the Elves were after her. She needed to get connected again and do her job, but she couldn't. Not while Jeff and her boys were in danger. They were far more important than passing notes.

 

"Penny?"

 

Penny turned back in the doorway. Leah was watching her, guarded, confused. "I have to know," Penny said. "I can't-- not anymore." She was tired of mourning and hoping at the same time. She wanted answers, concrete proof of life or death. She wanted to see all of her boys again, even Leonard.

 

"I will send someone," Leah said, her expression beginning to soften with what looked like understanding.

 

"No; I think I need to handle this one on my own."

 

"Good luck."

 

"Thanks."

 

Not until she was an hour away did Penny realize that she'd forgotten to give Leah the jump drive. She considered turning around, but then decided that saving Jeff was more important. Besides, she'd left her computer behind; they could analyze that, instead. As Penny drove back south, the sky began to darken, not only from the city, but from clouds gathering, low and thick. Getting into the Woods would be tricky. The only people allowed on the transports were those who had work on the ships or who had special day permits signed and sealed. The latter could be forged, but Penny didn't have that kind of time. She passed Pasadena and continued to Moria and their stolen transport.

 

She didn't have a plan yet.

 

Suddenly, a spike of lightning stabbed down through the sky, splitting it open. In its wake, thunder rumbled and rain began to pound. Penny flicked on her headlights and drove faster. Finding Moria in the dark was tricky, but Penny knew all of their secret places. She'd drawn quick maps in spilled flour for new Rangers, brave men and women who had done well memorizing the major locations, but quickly got lost if Penny mentioned the City of Bells or Nindamos, or one of the other weird Tolkien names the Resistance used.

 

By late dinner time, when the sun was setting and the winds were keening, Penny turned down the last of the twisty roads to the underground facility they had commandeered, their Moria. Penny parked in a large, abandoned building. A large section of one wall had been knocked out, allowing her inside the hidden lot. Inside, cars waited in long rows. Several had sets of keys sitting in the front seats, ready for instant use if needed. Penny tucked her own keys into her pocket. David would kill her if she didn't bring his car back for him.

 

Oddly, Moria was the one place where they didn't use the traditional 'let me in' pass phrase. Penny typed a code into a door panel and then bent down for a retinal scan. Moria held many of the their secrets; it was their only safe place to do so.

 

When the doors opened, Balin, the man in charge of Moria, waited on the other side. "Lady Eowyn," he said, huffing slightly. Penny wondered if he'd run to the entrance. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

 

"I need to get to the Woods," Penny said, not wanting to waste anymore time.

 

"You?" Balin asked, his voice rising in pitch. "But you're--"

 

"Compromised. Maybe. I don't know." Penny gathered her hair up, squeezed hard, and let it fall back to her shoulders. "Balin," she said, calmer or, at least, trying to be, "we should talk."

 

He nodded. "This way."

 

Moria had changed since Penny's last visit, back when it was new. She'd heard, of course, of the renovations, the news rooms being created and tunnels connecting to other facilities and mines, but she had never been quite able to imagine the differences.

 

When she saw a stall selling sandwiches, Penny realized what she was looking at. "You're creating a city."

 

"Just in case," Balin said.

 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Penny asked.

 

Balin looked back at her, one brow quirked. "I sent you reports."

 

"You shouldn't send people puzzle pieces without, at least, a hint of what they're making."

 

He laughed. "Maybe we just wanted to surprise the all-knowing Eowyn at a later date. Here, we can talk here." He slid open a panel and, half-bowing, motioned her inside. "My office, for now," he explained, pulling a string and turning on a light.

 

Penny looked around the small room. Maps and charts covered every surface of the walls. "What if there is an earthquake?" She traced a jagged line on one large map of southern California, the eventual reach of Moria, she supposed.

 

"We're taking precautions," Balin said. "We had a cave-in early on and learned to be careful from that."

 

"Did anyone die?" Penny asked.

 

"One."

 

Penny dropped her hand from the map and turned to Balin. "All right," she said, "this is what's going on."

 

"Do you still have the laptop?" Balin asked.

 

Penny shook her head. "No, I left it with Gandalf. I figured she could have her wonder-geek look over it for me. Besides, I wasn't really thinking clearly when I left."

 

Balin made a face. "I don't trust her."

 

"Gandalf?" Penny asked, incredulous. "Why not?"

 

"She isn't honest," Balin said, crossly. He refused to elaborate. Penny stuck her tongue out at him, feeling exceptionally immature and lightened by the act. She also decided to hold out on giving him the jump drive. He didn't need it and, bizarre as it sounded, Penny was getting used to it pressing against her in constant warning.

 

"Fine, I won't pry. In exchange, however..."

 

The corner of Balin's cheek pulled. "You want to get to the Woods."

 

"Bingo."

 

"Which ship?"

 

"The central one," Penny said. "Strider was pulling a rescue on someone even the Elf pets thought was dead."

 

"Another pet scientist?"

 

Penny laughed. "Trust me, they probably have him locked away precisely because they can't own him. He's a complete whack-a-doodle. Brilliant, sure, but crazy-making."

 

"I see. So, you want to sneak onto the most guarded ship in all the Woods and rescue an insane genius and a possibly-dead Ranger?"

 

"Just not a Ranger," Penny corrected quietly. "Strider. Jeff. _My_ Ranger. As for the scientist, he is my friend. I can't leave him there, not after he might be alive."

 

"I can't give you the transport," Balin said after a long silence. "The mechanic you sent me has it in pieces at the moment, but I have another idea. You're an actress, right?"

 

"Yes. Why?"

 

"Well, Ramona has blond hair like yours and, from the virus story, I bet the Elves would like to find her."

 

Penny started to smile. "You want me to become Dr. Ramona Phillips?"

 

"Can you do it?"

 

"Maybe. She'll have to teach me some Elvish though so that I can pass as a linguist-extraordinaire."

 

"The Kirran language," Balin said, as he lead her down deeper into Moria, "is apparently easier than one would suspect."

 

"Is it really?"

 

"For a linguist, maybe. Even with the communicator I can't make sense of it."

 

"Great."

 

All around them, Moria buzzed with activity. Carts with supplies pulled past them and down long tunnels. In one chamber, Penny could hear music. Someone, with a voice as clear as hand chimes, was singing an old song from the mid-90s, giving Penny a flash back of a trying-too-hard prom dress and clashing corsage. Balin directed her to the side. "Ramona will be working here," he said. "She always is."

 

Dr. Ramona Phillips proved to be nothing like Penny had imagined her. She looked to be about the guys' age, but wore her pale, blond hair in two thick braids, which she'd pinned up messily against her head. She wore jeans and a boat-necked three-quarter sleeve shirt. The shirt was dark blue, like her jeans. Her socks were yellow.

 

"Dr. Phillips, this is Eowyn. She's going to steal your identity."

 

"Is that so?" Penny winced at the strong British accent. She'd not expected that. "Well, I hope it grants you better luck than it ever did me. Blasted useless, really."

 

"Is that so?" Penny said, trying to get the tones just right.

 

"Charming. I can hear an echo already. Well, come in. I'll lend you some clothes and words."

 

"Charming, but first--" Penny yawned. "Sleep?"

 

"I will guide you to a bed," Balin said, but Ramona shushed him.

 

"I've a cot she can use. I'll even turn on a word tape for her. It isn't an efficient way to learn a language, but it may help her hear the sounds."

 

"Fine by me," Penny said, forgetting to practice the accent. From the moment she lay down, Penny was asleep. The stress and worry of the day had finally caught up with her. Threading through her dreams and nightmares, was a strange, discordant music full of half-steps, odd tones, and, eventually, words repeated again and again. There was a rhythm to them and that rhythm carried her deeper and deeper into sleep.

 

When Penny awoke, Ramona immediately began to pummel her with Kirran. Through the communicator, Penny was able to sense the logic of the language, which helped. She could also hold the words in her head longer and has less trouble making them fall off her tongue. When she put a sentence in the wrong order, she knew it, even if she didn't know what she'd done wrong.

 

" _Amazing, isn't it?_ " Ramona asked.

 

" _What?_ " The word sounded like a cough.

 

" _All the ----- of a ------- speaker, with none of the -------_."

 

" _I don't understand._ "

 

Ramona repeated herself, this time pausing to give the English after each word. "All of the instincts of a native speaker, with none of the knowledge."

 

"Yeah. _I mean, yes._ "

 

For the rest of that day, Penny stayed with Ramona, learning her mannerisms and Elvish, while Balin arranged her 'return' to the Woods. Shortly before dinner, Ramona made her remove the communicator and practice without. Penny felt the loss immediately. Words blurred together in her hearing and she had trouble lining up sentences in her head.

 

"This is hopeless," Penny said, lapsing back into English. "They'll never believe I learned their language."

 

" _They are idiots_ ," Ramona said, enunciating each word. " _They do not think we can learn their -----, but they are afraid of being wrong_."

 

Penny tried to repeat the word she had missed. "Language?" she guessed.

 

Ramona corrected her pronunciation. " _Yes._ "

 

" _They are fear of us_."

 

" _Yes_ ," Ramona said after correcting her again. " _I think so_."

 

Penny repeated her query, frustrated and angry. She hated feeling stupid, but she had to get better. If the Elves were not convinced that she possessed enough knowledge to be a threat, they would put her with the rest of the pets. She figured that her only ways onto the main ship were brains or sneaking. Only Jeff and, maybe, Hal knew the sneaky route, so she was left with acting like she knew more than she did. Later that evening, Ramona returned the communicator to her.

 

" _Time away helps you learn_ ," she said. " _If I had a month, I could make you fluent._ "

 

Ramona was right. Penny's time not using the communicator did help. She could recall her own mistakes and see why they had been wrong. For the rest of the night, Penny and Ramona talked, with and without the communicator. By morning Penny knew how to recognize command phrases, directions, and very basic conversation-- greetings and the like. Ramona advised her to stick to short phrases and taught her some traditional words that would give Penny's knowledge the illusion of depth. According to Ramona, she had mastered two or three weeks worth of lessons in a single 24 hour period. Penny just hoped it was enough.


	4. Endure

_"I do not believe this darkness will endure."  
~Faramir, RotK (film)_

 _ _

Getting into the Woods was actually easier than Penny had anticipated. Dressed in her Ramona disguise, Penny walked through Pasadena until she found a restaurant full of loose-haired Elves.

 

The hostess wrinkled her nose as Penny walked in. "Great, another wannabe. Look, eating in their favorite places isn't going to make them like you."

 

Penny shook out her umbrella and dropped it into the stand. "I see reports of Yank rudeness were not exaggerated at all. I require a table for one. Do you suppose you can manage that?" Penny matched Ramona's pitches in her head. She also pictured Sheldon at his worst, using his arrogance to bolster her own.

 

"Sure, why not? This way."

 

Penny suppressed a delighted grin when the girl sat her close to several tables full of Elves. She glanced over her menu, played with a fallen lock of hair as she'd seen Ramona do several times the previous day. Frowning with indecisiveness, Penny leaned to the table next to her own. The Elves glared at her.

 

" _Very sorry_ ," Penny said, _"but what do you think I should eat? Everything looks good._ " The sentences were ones she'd practiced repeatedly until they wriggled naturally out of her throat.

 

The glares became as thunderous as the dark clouds outside. Penny only smiled. " _Is something wrong?_ "

 

A hand seized her from behind, its grip painful around her upper arm, and pulled her from her chair. The Elf spun her to face him. Little wrinkles dug into his face, deepened by anger. "Who are you?"

 

"Oh, didn't I say?" Penny said, not needing to fake her fear. "Dr. Ramona Phillips. Linguist. Kirran truly is a love—ah, ow!" Penny tried to prise his fingers from the muscle of her arm, but it did no good. He dragged her outside and all but threw her into a transport.

 

As she checked her arm to see how bad the bruising would be, the Elf took them to the sky, to the aerial city, into the Woods.

 

Had the Woods been a painting or, perhaps, a human achievement meant to create shade and livable space in the desert, Penny might have thought it beautiful. Above the smooth metallic ships she always saw from the ground, rested bubbles, glass ships filled with alien trees and wandering people. When lightning flashed, the light bounced off all the surfaces, breaking into an explosion of swift rainbows. The rain cascaded over the glass like waterfalls.

 

"We have made improvements since you last visited us," the Elf said.

 

Penny closed her mouth, aware that she had just broken character. "Charming," she said.

 

"Stop. You aren't her. If you have hurt her, I--"

 

Penny's eyes widened and pushed back against the side of the transport, trying to create as much distance between her and his anger as possible. "I've done nothing," she said, her accent slipping.

 

" _Who are you?_ " the Elf asked. His hair rippled and Penny nearly groaned when she saw the small braid hanging amid the loose strands.

 

"Just, please take me to the central ship. I have to—" She stopped, an idea sparking. " _She taught me._ "

 

The Elf looked at her and then relaxed. "Is she really safe?" he asked.

 

Penny breathed. "Yes. She is." Though Ramona might find herself a bit less safe once Penny returned to Moria. Why hadn't she warned Penny about this possibility?

 

"Good." The Elf altered his course and the central ship loomed large beneath them. "Keep her that way."

 

Safe as hobbits, Penny thought, but she said nothing. She didn't know what to say.

 

Spread out along one side of the ship was a large bracket of transports stacked high together. The Elf slowly guided his transport beneath this structure and parked. He grabbed Penny again, but not as hard as before, and dragged her from the car and to a set of doors leading down into the ship. Behind them the transport seemed to crawl on its own to a perch high amid the wires and poles. Penny was still gaping when the doors closed.

 

"Take down your hair," the Elf said, not looking at her. "You are ridiculous in your effort to be her. Why are you here?"

 

"Why should I tell you?"

 

"I could help."

 

Penny considered the offer, but shook her head. She couldn't rely on an Elf, even if it would make her task easier.

 

"Why did you take her?"

 

"I don't know."

 

The doors opened and the Elf pushed Penny out. "This is where the dangerous people are kept. Tell her you met me. Tell her I helped."

 

"I will," Penny replied as the doors closed between them. No guards roamed the halls. She had expected cameras, at least, but she saw nothing. As Penny rounded a corner, she expected to see more long, gray halls and anonymous doors. Instead the hall lead to a large room filled with people and tech. Voices buzzed, rising in argument and lowering with sudden ideas that needed just a little more consideration to shine. A spiral of books surrounded by a frame of platforms and tables dominated one section of the room. Computers were everywhere. Some people worked furiously on problems, and others were rolling die and arguing over alignment. She even heard some words in Elvish, which almost surprised her more than anything else. People were building and deconstructing, laughing and learning. Here, for a geek, was paradise.

 

Then she saw Sheldon standing before a white board in an area clearly marked as his by red and blue cables. He had everything he needed to work, including solitude amid the cacophony. No one dared go near him, Penny noticed, except for one man. Jeff.

 

Looking around again in vain for guards or overseers, Penny approached Sheldon's space. Moving through the crowd, Penny noticed how people divided their space. Few were as bold as Sheldon, but everyone had their spheres. She noticed how no one walked near the doors, even going out of their way to avoid them. This was still a prison, just a very pretty one. Penny had experience with the pretty prisons; they gave everything you thought you should want and made you forget the stuff you really desired. She thought of the years she had spent earning her father's wide grin and tight hug, happy, but still yearning. College, old boyfriends-- it was always so easy to close your eyes and convince yourself you were content. Prison was still prison, though. The pretty ones were just harder to leave.

 

Penny tapped Jeff on the shoulder. He tensed, but otherwise showed no reaction. "Let me stand at your side," she quoted. He turned faster than a tornado spinning.

 

"Penny."

 

Sheldon dropped his marker and turned. Penny smiled at him over Jeff's shoulder. "Hey, Sheldon," she said, easing back from Jeff's embrace.

 

Sheldon stared, then, without warning, crossed the feet between them. He stopped only when he reached her, awkward and uncertain. Penny pulled him into a hug and he leaned into her, filling every empty space. Penny squeezed once and patted his back. "Okay, sweetie, that's enough."

 

Sheldon let go, straightening himself embarrassedly. "I did not realize you were alive," he said. "Please forgive my overly-enthusiastic greeting. I--"

 

"Sheldon, it's okay," Penny said. "That sort of hug is perfectly acceptable after a long absence during which you never thought you'd see each other again."

 

"Is it? I shall have to make a note. Well, Penny, I supposed I speak for both of us--" he gestured to Jeff-- "when I ask, what are you doing here?"

 

Penny threaded Jeff's fingers with her own. "Isn't it obvious?" she asked. "I'm here to rescue you."

 

"Leah sent you?" Jeff asked.

 

Penny shook her head. "She said she'd send someone, but I had time on my hands."

 

"What about the cafe?"

 

"David is handling it. Everything is fine. So, what are we waiting for? Pack up. Let's go."

 

"Love to," Jeff said. "Only one slight problem." He looked at Sheldon.

 

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "How many times must we tread over this issue? I signed a contract. I can't leave until I can prove which is correct, string theory or Belkirs."

 

Penny slapped a hand over her face. Of course. No cameras. No guards. Just Sheldon. "Great."

 

"Any ideas? You have more experience with him than I do."

 

"I'll think of something," Penny promised.

 

Jeff found some pillows and placed them near Sheldon's workspace. They sat down, Penny leaning back against his chest.

 

"Why did you come?" he asked, playing with her fingers. Penny couldn't remember the last time they'd been able to relax together.

 

"Leah said you were in trouble." Penny recounted the events from the past couple days. She could feel Jeff frowning into her hair.

 

"But I never make contact while in the Woods," Jeff said, interrupting her. "Leah knows that."

 

"Then I don't know what's going on. She looked really worried."

 

"Strange. So how did you manage to get in anyway?"

 

Penny tilted her head up to look at him. "Oh, you know me. I just _talked my way in_." She laughed at the surprise on his face and explained about Moria and Ramona.

 

"Can you see the doors?" he asked, abruptly.

 

Penny looked around. "Of course. Why?"

 

Jeff waved a hand at everyone else in the room. "They can't. Before the Elves bring them here, they do something that makes them completely avoid the existence of doors. I don't know how. It is like they're scared of them."

 

"Hence the weird walking around the edges of the room," Penny said. "I was wondering about that. Can Sheldon--?"

 

"He's fine. He was apparently the first inmate and was such a model prisoner, that they didn't bother tinkering with his head."

 

"Yeah, when Sheldon gets into a routine, it is nearly impossible to break him out of it. Contracts are even worse. They're as binding as gravity in his head. The only way to get him to leave is to find a loophole or a contradicting and previously existing contract that would take precedence."

 

"Any ideas?"

 

Penny watched Sheldon fuss at his work. "Maybe. What day is it today?"

 

"Um, Thursday, I think."

 

Penny nodded. "All right. That might work. Hey, Sheldon."

 

"Yes, Penny?" Sheldon asked, not taking his attention away from his work.

 

"Do you know what today is?" She put a teasing lilt into her voice.

 

"No," he said.

 

"Thursday," she said. "Anything-can-happen Thursday."

 

Sheldon capped his marker and turned around once more to face her. "When the others created that particular routine, I highly doubt they meant the breakage of agreements and escape from an alien facility."

 

Penny shrugged. "Who cares what they intended? You gotta move with the times."

 

"A living document approach, interesting. Regardless, a written agreement does take precedence--"

 

Penny tilted her head. "Did this contract of yours specifically state that you could disregard Anything-can-happen Thursday?"

 

"You know," Sheldon said. "I don't believe it did. Well, shall we be off then?"

 

Penny stood up and reached down to help Jeff up as well. "That's all it took?" Jeff asked, in disbelief. "The day of week?"

 

"You just have to know how to handle him. Now, where are we going?"

 

Jeff shook his head, took Penny's hand, and tugged her toward a small door to the right. "This way," he said.

 

They, even Sheldon, crept quietly down the hall. Penny could hear Elvish being spoken and people walking around. From what little Penny could catch, the Elves talked about their next holiday to other ships in the Woods and an upcoming family-thing.

 

"Not to interrupt," Sheldon said, as they paused in an empty room, waiting for the coming patrol to pass so that they could continue. "But I do feel as though I ought to finish my tenure here with, as the expression states, a bang."

 

"What do you mean?" Jeff asked.

 

"Well, I did get considerably bored during my time in their intellectual bubble and I amused myself by hacking out of their network, onto the web, and into their ships. While I cannot persuade a ship to actually explode, I could reroute their controls or offset their balances. In the next big storm, we could make the ships fall out of the sky."

 

"Sheldon, it is storming now." They could crash the ships, cripple the Elves in one, grand fell swoop. It would be amazing.

 

Amazingly stupid. While Jeff and Sheldon discussed timing and possibilities, Penny thought about all the people still trapped and the Elves who were just doing their jobs. She thought of the human cities below the Woods, most of them still full of people, in spite of the lack of sun.

 

They could be heroes, sure, but they'd also be murderers.

 

"No," Penny said.

 

"What?"

 

"Too many lives," she said. "We're the good guys. We don't do junk like that."

 

"Penny, we can't let this chance pass us up."

 

"I know. I have an idea. It isn't as glorious, but it also isn't as stupid." Neither guy said a word. Penny took a deep breath. "If we crash a few ships, they can still build more. They're _always_ building more. We need to stop that expansion. Can we cripple just that ship?" Penny asked. "A virus or something that would lock it down and make it completely useless without hurting anyone?"

 

Jeff looked to Sheldon. "Maybe," Sheldon said. "But I do not believe we have the time required for me to write a dastardly enough virus."

 

Penny reached under her shirt and pulled and the small jump drive from her bra. "This destroyed my laptop in less than a minute," she said. "Would that work?"

 

Sheldon looked at the tiny device in awe. "Why, yes," he said, "I believe it will." He hurried to the computer terminal. Penny wondered if the room they were hiding in was a classroom; it certainly looked like one. Jeff watched out the door.

 

Suddenly, he cursed.

 

"What is it?" Penny asked.

 

"They changed the damned patrols, again. We're going to have to sneak past them, rather than behind them. I don't want another back of hair."

 

"Do you have any stimulants?" Penny asked.

 

"Just the couple doses I always carry. Why? Oh-- the caffeine trick."

 

"Exactly. Sheldon, how much longer do you need?"

 

"Twenty minutes. Maybe a little more."

 

"Half a stim will get us 30 to 40 minutes," Penny said. "Where are we going?"

 

"Down. I have a transport waiting beneath this ship."

 

"How?"

 

Jeff looked embarrassed. "It likes me. Whenever I come, it always goes where I ask. I don't know why."

 

"It can think?"

 

Sheldon snorted. "No. The supposed sentience is merely a byproduct of--"

 

"Sheldon. Virus."

 

They glared at each other in an impromptu staring contest. Penny won and Sheldon returned to his work.

 

"How much further?" Penny asked, looking back to Jeff.

 

"Down this hall, down two flights of stairs, and then through one of the engine rooms to the hatch. If we run, fifteen minutes."

 

"All right," Penny said. "Let's stab the Elves."

 

Jeff handed her one of his stims and opened the door. A pair of Elves were on their way. "They come in groups of four," Jeff said. "Two, then two more. I'll these two and you get the next pair, all right?"

 

"All right," Penny said.

 

As soon as the Elves reached their door, they both lunged out the door. Penny held down one Elf with all her body weight, while Jeff stabbed it in the neck. His hair slashed through her cheek and blood dripped down on the Elf's face. The other one tried to run, but Penny drew on countless afternoons spent with her father and dove. She knocked the Elf in the back of her knees and tackled her to the ground.

 

"Nice job," Jeff said as he injected the remainder of his stimulant into the Elf's neck. His wrist was bleeding. Penny staunched it with her shirt while they waited for the next pair of Elves to arrive.

 

For the second pair, Jeff exploded from the room first, knocking both down to the ground. Their hair spread out into fury of needles. As they started to attack, Penny slipped behind them and stabbed each in the neck. When the hair went limp, Jeff pushed himself up, wincing with pain. His shirt was in shreds. Blood dripped everywhere. Penny swallowed hard. After they pulled the last two bodies into the classroom, Penny removed her shirt and used it to tend to Jeff's back. The cuts all looked to be shallow, which was good. He'd heal more quickly this time.

 

Sheldon announced he was nearly done. Then a radio buzzed and a loud, harsh voice came through.

 

" _Kyrgst, report, now._ " The smallest of the four, the one Penny had tackled, had a small radio on her belt. The light was blinking and the voice was angry.

 

"He wants a report," Penny said.

 

Jeff disconnected the radio from the belt and handed it to her. "So give them one," he said.

 

Right. A report. Penny lined up words in her head, hoped they'd make sense, and pressed the button. " _Reporting_."

 

" _We heard the thud. What is going on down there?_ "

 

" _Stupid game,_ " Penny said. " _Very sorry. All is fine. Quiet. Boring._ "

 

" _You say everything is boring. Do not disturb us again ----------------------------._ " He spoke too rapidly for Penny to understand.

 

" _Always_ ," she responded when he paused long enough for her to talk.

 

The light blinked and the radio shut off. Penny handed the radio back to Jeff, relieved that their ruse was working.

 

"Done," Sheldon announced about ten minutes later. "I believe that was my best time yet."

 

Penny looked at Jeff. Her heart was pounding with anticipation. "Well?"

 

"Let's go."

 

They slipped into the hall and ran down to the first flight of stairs. "Careful," Jeff said, "these can be loud. Move slowly." He pushed Penny and Sheldon ahead of him and watched out for anyone coming up behind them.

 

Penny tried to take deep breaths as she crept down the stairs. She thought of trying to catch Santa Claus, sneaking out for a party, anything that did not include Elves with crazy hair. She was cold. The ship's air prickled the skin over her stomach and chest. Her lip was bleeding. She didn't know whether from an attack or her own biting.

 

At the base of the stairs, Jeff motioned for them to be quiet. Sheldon handed her a t-shirt. She accepted it gratefully. Thank goodness the boy always wore layers. Jeff bent his hand, beckoning them forward, and they were off again. The next stairwell was only across the hall, but at the other end of the hall a patrol stood, talking to one another. If just one of them were to look over their shoulder, they'd see them. Penny's chest ached from her heart pounding against it. Soon they were safe in the stairwell, but then the alarms began to ring.

 

"Run," Jeff urged, pushing them a little. Penny pushed against the banister and leapt to the landing. She sailed over the next set of steps as well, landing hard on one knee. Red and blue lights flashed on and off like at a dance club. Motion was jagged between flashes.

 

Jeff shoved past her to the bottom level of the ship. The engines drowned all noise. He grabbed both her and Sheldon's hands and ran. He moved with a confidence that suggested more than just two previous visits to the central ship. They passed into a large room with larger engines; they were all Penny could hear. Jeff opened a hatch and the room filled with sudden brightness as lightning flashed. The transport bobbled in the wind.

 

Penny climbed down first, then Sheldon. Jeff jumped in last, pulling the hatch door shut as he did so. The engine noise was replaced with alarms, thunder, and wind. The windshield closed and Jeff pushed a lever on the console, hurtling them down toward the ground.

 

They were escaping. Penny laughed. She saw Sheldon's fingers clenched white against the seat and she laughed more. The storm had picked up during her time in the Woods and rain now pelted so hard against the glass of the transport, that Penny thought it might break through. This made her laugh even more. To almost escape and be killed at the last minute by bullets of rain. Jeff grabbed her hand.

 

"We're okay," he said. Penny bit her lip, trying to believe him.

 

"Okay?!" Sheldon protested, his voice loud and shrill. He began to lecture. It was almost normal. The pressure in her chest broke.

 

"Yeah," she said, as Sheldon continued talking. "We're okay."

 

She looked back up at the underbelly of the central ship. Lights flashed, a mix of alarms and lightning. Penny wondered what she was supposed to do next. She had too many questions now, questions she'd never even known to ask. She hoped David enjoyed running Cafe Norah.

 

She couldn't go back and get stuck there like the scientists stuck in their pretty prison, unable to see any of the doors. She wanted to finish learning Elvish, figure out why Leah had lied to her, and get some answers from Leonard.

 

The sky shattered around them with the storm while Sheldon cited statistics on lightning strikes and death or something. Jeff slowed into the traffic of other transports, disguising them into the anonymity of sameness. Penny squeezed his hand. Soon they would land and walk away, free. Then back to Moria. Penny watched the world below, and started making plans.


End file.
